My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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