"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
A+ Viking dick
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
