I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
