Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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