i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
