She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
