and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize