Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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