I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
4 words: hood of his car
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
