She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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