Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
