Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
