so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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