they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
