I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
