How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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