Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
