I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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