i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
