Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
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My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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