i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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