Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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