he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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