Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
