I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
