In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
