I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
