guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
