dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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