it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
