I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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