hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
