Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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