turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
