Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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