I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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