im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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