Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
