just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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