I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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