My room smells like vodka and shame
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
