At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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