hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
