he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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