the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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