I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
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Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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