you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
