Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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