I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
