trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
