ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
