my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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