Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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