I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
