He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
