He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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