Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
