Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize