there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
