the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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