you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
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Someone came in the potted fern
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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