it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
