i jhust puked up my retainher.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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