hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
