his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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