Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
