Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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